How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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