nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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