i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
