We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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