Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
