i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
