I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
