first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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