there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
