the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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