So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
