Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
