you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
