she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
