Too much gin, very little bucket
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
