Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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