Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
