Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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