Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
