They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
