I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
