Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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