We're like a lot better than the average bears
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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