you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
