Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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