i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
