I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
