I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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