im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
