Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
did i walk over a car last night?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
