she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I am one with the molecules
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize