seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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