Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
