how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm eating all of the evidence.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
BRING THE BAGELS
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
