its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
