Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize