Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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