Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Houston, we have a blender
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
