"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
