I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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