I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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