The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
love makes seman taste better
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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