Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
