I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
