I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
