i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
