You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
