We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
where are you?
Hypothermia
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
