I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
