Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
