sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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