Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
