I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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