I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
