I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
