Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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