Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize