haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
