saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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