So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize